1. Agreement
These Terms of Service (“Terms”) are an agreement between you and Ermais Hex Engine (“Ermais”, “we”, “us”). They govern your use of ermais.com, portal.ermais.com, the emails and certificate pages we send and host, and related services (together, the “Service”).
By creating an account or using the Service, you agree to these Terms and acknowledge our Privacy Policy. If you don’t agree, please don’t use the Service.
2. It’s satire
Ermais Hex Engine is a novelty and entertainment service. “Kulam”, “maluk”, “hex”, “anting-anting”, and similar words are used as jokes. We do not perform, sell, or claim to perform any actual magic, spellcasting, witchcraft, or supernatural act, and nothing we send has any real effect on anyone’s health, luck, devices, finances, or life.
Effect windows, side effects, antidotes, severity levels, and similar details are fictional. Any resemblance to your actual Wi-Fi acting up is a coincidence.
3. Eligibility
You must be at least 13 years old to use the Service. If you are under 18, you confirm that a parent or legal guardian has reviewed and agreed to these Terms on your behalf. You may not use the Service if we have previously suspended or banned your account.
4. Your account
- Provide your real first and last name and an email address you control. One account per person.
- Keep your password secure and don’t share your account. You are responsible for activity under your account.
- Tell us promptly at [email protected] if you think your account was accessed without permission.
- You can update your profile anytime and request deletion of your account from Account settings. Deletion requests are reviewed by an admin, usually within 7 days (for example, to make sure the request really came from you and no open abuse report is pending), and you’ll be emailed once it’s done.
5. Sending kulams & maluks
When you send a kulam or maluk, we email the recipient a pre-written novelty message from our catalog and create a certificate page they can view and share. You add a short reason (shown to the recipient on the email and certificate), may add the recipient’s nickname, and choose whether to sign it with your name or send it anonymously.
Each time you send, you confirm that:
- you personally know the recipient and reasonably believe they will find it funny;
- the email address is one you obtained legitimately (not scraped, bought, guessed, or taken from a list);
- you are not sending to harass, intimidate, embarrass, threaten, or distress anyone; and
- the nickname and reason you enter are not offensive, threatening, defamatory, or someone else’s private information, and contain no links or contact details.
To keep things friendly, we apply limits such as a daily sending allowance, caps on how often any one address can receive sends, a limit on back-and-forth kulams between the same two people, and duplicate-send protection. Limits may change at any time, and a send may be declined or fail to deliver. Anonymous sends are anonymous to the recipient, but not to us — we keep a record of who sent what and may act on it if the Service is misused.
6. House rules
Be funny, not mean. You agree not to:
- harass, bully, stalk, threaten, or intimidate anyone, or keep sending to someone who has asked you to stop;
- send to strangers, public figures you don’t know, businesses, or role addresses (e.g.
info@,abuse@) for publicity or disruption; - send spam, bulk messages, or use scripts, bots, or automation to register or send;
- create multiple accounts, evade limits or suspensions, or share accounts;
- impersonate any person or misrepresent your affiliation with anyone;
- use the Service for anything unlawful, including violations of the Cybercrime Prevention Act, the Data Privacy Act, or anti-harassment laws;
- probe, scan, overload, or interfere with the Service or its security, or access it other than through our interfaces; or
- copy, resell, or offer the Service (or our content) as part of another product without our written permission.
7. Recipients & unsubscribing
Every email we send is labeled as satire and includes a free, one-click unsubscribe link. Once a recipient unsubscribes, no Ermais user can send to that address again. Unsubscribing is always free and will never require payment. We also block addresses that bounce or report our emails as spam.
If you received a kulam and something about it isn’t okay — or you want an unsubscribe lifted — contact [email protected]. We review misuse reports and may suspend the sender.
8. Content & ownership
The Service, including the kulam and maluk catalog, email copy, certificate designs, names, logos, and software, belongs to Ermais and its licensors. We give you a personal, non-exclusive, non-transferable, revocable permission to use the Service for its intended purpose under these Terms.
You may share certificate pages and screenshots of kulams you sent or received for personal, non-commercial fun. Please mask email addresses when posting publicly.
Certificate pages are unlisted: they are not indexed by search engines, but anyone who has the link can view them. If you send us feedback or ideas, we may use them without obligation to you.
9. Free tier & paid features
The free tier costs nothing and includes the daily allowance shown in your dashboard. Some services are marked Pro and aren’t available on the free tier yet. Joining the Pro waitlist doesn’t commit you to buy anything.
Anting-anting Kulam Shield is a planned premium feature for recipients (for example, blocking kulams while still receiving Maluks). It is not available yet; joining its waitlist only means we’ll email you once when it launches. It is separate from, and never a replacement for, the free unsubscribe link.
If we introduce paid plans or purchases, we will show the price and any additional terms before you pay, and those terms will apply to that purchase.
10. Suspension & termination
You can stop using the Service and request deletion of your account at any time. We may limit, suspend, or terminate your access — with or without notice — if we reasonably believe you broke these Terms, created risk or legal exposure for us or others, or if required by law. We may also modify, pause, or discontinue any part of the Service, including sending, at any time.
Sections that by their nature should survive termination (such as ownership, disclaimers, limitation of liability, indemnity, and governing law) will survive.
11. Third-party services
The Service relies on providers such as Brevo (email delivery), Cloudflare (network, security, and captcha), and our hosting provider. Their availability is outside our control, and their own terms may apply to your interactions with them. See the Privacy Policy for details.
12. Disclaimers
The Service is provided “as is” and “as available”. To the fullest extent permitted by law, we disclaim all warranties, express or implied, including merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and non-infringement. We don’t guarantee that emails will be delivered, opened, or appreciated, or that the Service will be uninterrupted, error-free, or secure. Recipients’ reactions are their own. Kandila sold separately; LED lang.
13. Limitation of liability
To the fullest extent permitted by law, Ermais will not be liable for any indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages, or for lost profits, data, goodwill, or friendships, arising from or related to the Service. Our total liability for any claim relating to the Service is limited to the greater of the amount you paid us in the 12 months before the claim or ₱1,000.
Nothing in these Terms limits liability that cannot be limited under applicable law, including liability for fraud, gross negligence, or willful misconduct.
14. Indemnity
You agree to defend, indemnify, and hold Ermais harmless from claims, damages, and expenses (including reasonable legal fees) arising from your misuse of the Service, the messages you choose to send and to whom, or your violation of these Terms or of anyone’s rights.
15. Changes to these Terms
We may update these Terms from time to time. If a change is material, we will give reasonable notice — for example, by email or a notice in the portal — before it takes effect. The “Last updated” date and version at the top show the current version. Continuing to use the Service after changes take effect means you accept them.
16. Governing law
These Terms are governed by the laws of the Republic of the Philippines, without regard to conflict-of-law rules. Disputes will be brought before the proper courts of the Philippines, unless applicable law gives you the right to bring a claim elsewhere. Before filing anything, please contact us — most issues can be fixed with a quick message.
If any part of these Terms is found unenforceable, the rest stays in effect. Our not enforcing a provision isn’t a waiver. You may not transfer these Terms without our consent; we may assign them in connection with a merger, acquisition, or sale of assets. These Terms and the Privacy Policy are the entire agreement between you and us about the Service.
17. Contact
Email [email protected].